HAIL AND THUNDER

Tuesday, July 7

 

Today is the day to explore the city and get an overview.  What is the best way to do this?  The hop-on, hop-off bus of course.  We put our walking shoes on and headed out to see the sights.  Again, it helps that Linda has a working knowledge of the city and can quickly find them on a city map.  So, we headed out the door with Harrods as our destination.  Our route took us along a private street that borders Kensington Gardens and is home to many embassies now located in fabulous Edwardian mansions.  Security is very high in this neighborhood and you can’t even take photos of the houses.  Both ends of the street have armed guards and these neat retractable stanchions in the road. Police must clear all cars before the stanchions are lowed allowing the car to pass.  We cleared through that road and continued past Kensington Palace, former home of Princess Diana, past The Royal Albert Hall and the spectacular Albert Memorial.  We found Harrods, the mother lode of shopping and stepped into the Summer Sale event.   We cruised the food department, which is indescribable.  Truth be known, the layout is something like Whole Foods back in the US.  Imagine that as way bigger and every sinful specialty you might have read about.  A caviar bar featuring dozens of varieties that you can either purchase for take away or sit down and enjoy at the bar.  A fois gras bar.  A sushi bar that I will be returning to later in the week.  Jams, cakes, cheeses, they have it all.  Then on to the ticket/travel department.  We purchased tickets for the Thursday night performance of Billy Elliot and our Big Bus tour tickets.  We read about another play that looked intriguing and plan to try to see as well, War Horse.

 

Now that we had our hop-on tickets, we stood in line outside the store and waited for the next bus.  Of course, this being London, the weather was really iffy.  As you board the bus, there is a carton of clear plastic ponchos and earpieces for each passenger.  We grabbed our gear and headed up the steps to the open-air upper deck.  Let me just say that those ponchos proved to be the one thing we couldn’t have done without.  Linda was wearing a full raincoat and hood so she used her poncho as a seat cover.  I had an umbrella, which wouldn’t due for upper deck breezes, so I had to hunker down into my poncho A LOT!  It rained.  The sun came out.  It sprinkled.  The sun came out.  We protected our cameras as best we could and listened to the running commentary over the ear pieces as we passed Westminster Abby, the Houses of Parliament, The London Eye (Ferris wheel that takes one hour to make one circuit), St. Paul’s Cathedral, Tower Bridge, The Tower of London.  We got off the bus at Buckingham Palace and took a few photos outside the gates.  The Queen was having a garden party and we watched as the ladies in hats and men in waistcoats were cleared through security.  There was nothing for us to do but visit the gift shop.

 

We got back on a bus to continue our route through the city.  Again, we climbed to the upper deck, knowing we were in for wet weather.  Never mind that it was really raining now, we were on top of the bus in London, England.  Now, a few words about driving in London.  It is the scariest thing I have ever witnessed in my life.  The streets are incredibly narrow and are clogged with taxis and busses.  Every sidewalk is completely mobbed with pedestrians.  Add to this scooters and bikes jockeying for a tiny slit to weave through.  Traffic moves only a hundred feet at a time.  So, there we are, almost at the end of the route before we need to change from a red bus to a blue bus so we end up back in Notting hill.  The weather was getting worse.  It began raining so hard that we were forced to leave our seats in the open air and head down the winding steps to the safety of the lower level.  Just as we found two seats, it sounded as if lightening hit inches from the bus.  It couldn’t get worse, right?  It got so dark, the street lights came on and the bus was pelted with huge splats of rain as the temperature suddenly dropped. Wait.   That was hail we were being hit with. I  looked over to see hail bouncing down the bus stairs leading to the upper deck.  Then the stairs turned into a waterfall.  The water ran through the bus, flooding the driver's feet. The temperature drop caused the bus to totally fog up.  So, now the driver couldn’t see a thing.  The driver called the guide to the front of the bus and handed him a Kleenex with which to clear the windows so the driver could try to maneuver the bus to safety.  At a cross street the driver had to open the bus door so he could see if it was clear to proceed across the intersection.  We were now to the bus stop and asked to get off the bus!  By now the weather had started to pass, we found the next bus and rode back to our home neighborhood.  By the time we arrived in Notting Hill, it had stopped raining all together and we walked to a lovely fish and chips restaurant.  There we chatted with a couple at the next table. They advised us to not miss the performance of War Horse.  I think we will try for tickets.

THE WHITE CLIFFS OF

Monday, July 6

 

Land Ho!  I awoke quite early on Monday because the cruise director’s announcement the previous night said we would be sailing past the cliffs of Dover around 6:00 AM.  I didn’t want to miss seeing them from the water.  The bonus is that there is a castle that sits on the top of the cliffs making the image all the more striking.  Thoughts of WWII filled my brain.  One can’t help but conjure up visions of soldiers getting ready to cross the channel.

 

The night before docking we had to pack all our luggage that would be hauled off the ship in huge containers and onto the dock.  We held back our carry off and a change of clothes for morning.  The luggage was late in being unloaded and that caused our waiting driver, Ted, to be a bit worried about us.  But, we made it off the ship and Ted found us.  Ted turned out to be a bit of a hoot.  He is a retired tour driver who now operates his own Honda van and can take you anywhere you wish. 

 

We told Ted we wanted to go to Canterbury.  So, off we went as Ted gave us a full education on the geology of the chalk cliffs, how the area had been under water for millions of years and the composition of flint.  The really good news is that Ted has a handicap parking permit and we were able to shortcut many parking regulations.  The center of Canterbury is a pedestrian area with very limited handicap only parking.  Ted is a sly one.  We got out and had a bit of a walk about as Ted filled us with more local history.  I must say that the sight of the gate to Canterbury Cathedral is a strange one.  The gate is a colorful archway with a Starbucks snugged up on one side and a McDonald’s on the other side.  Ted suggested that we not pay to tour the cathedral, as it wasn’t all that spectacular.  Instead, he wanted to take us to Leeds.

 

Off we went to Leeds.  Ted chose side roads rather than the highway so we could enjoy the countryside.  We stopped in several small villages along the way and took a few lovely photos while it rained a bit.  Not to worry.  By the time we got to Leeds the rain had blown over leaving intermittent sun.  And, I must say that Leeds Castle is rather interesting.  We parked about a half a mile from the castle and walked through a wonderful park.  The park is filled with gigantic cypress and oak trees and lots of birds.  Guess what.  Canada geese.   Ted told us how England regretted the introduction of Canada geese because they are such a messy bird.  Well, Ted.  Get in line with that complaint!  But the park is also home to black swans that were imported from Australia.  The strangest bird that I saw however was a white peacock.  The castle inside is quite up to date as it was a private residence up until recent years.  A widow who is descended from the Whitney’s of the cotton gin family owned it and she hosted lots of movie stars and lavish parties over the years.  She left the estate to a charity upon her death and they run it now.  As we toured the castle, Ted gave history lessons to anyone he passed in the halls and even quizzed a few of the resident guides.

Then back into the car for the terrifying drive into London.  Ted asked if we wanted to stop in a local pub for lunch but we declined, as we were weary and ready to reach our London flat.  So, Ted steered onto the highway and off we went.  As we neared London, Ted continued with his commentary of the local news of the day and the goings on around London.  He had opinions on the areas of public housing we drove through and the massive number of immigrants from African countries.  The most interesting news he gave us was a report on Trafalgar Square.  Each of the four corners of the square contains a plinth.  On three of the plinths there are equine statues to heroes.  The fourth plinth is empty. A contest was held to nominate something for the fourth plinth.  The winning entry is now being shown.  It consists of (I think I am remembering the numbers properly) several thousand people being individually hoisted up onto the plinth over the course of six or eight weeks.  They entered a lottery of sorts and were assigned a time for their stint up on the plinth.  I will describe the sight in tomorrows report! 

 

Ted delivered us to the flat and helped get our suitcases down the few steps to the door.  We are in a garden flat which means it is the lowest level of a three-story townhouse.  After many years of watching Location from the BBC, I thought we had stepped directly into one of the episodes.  Our flat is exactly as seen on TV.  It’s a cozy shotgun arrangement of rooms with a little walled garden in the back.  The dining area is actually a glass-roofed addition on the back of the house and the shed behind has been converted into a second bedroom.  This dining area is a very cheery place to sit and write a blog.  However, the best feature of this flat is free high-speed Internet.

 

After seeing Ted off and thanking him, we did a preliminary unpacking.  It was now late afternoon and we hadn’t eaten breakfast yet.  So, we set out to find a few things.  Linda had stayed in this neighborhood before and has a fairly good instinct for where things are and how to get there.  After a few wrong turns and consulting a map located at the bus stop, we made it back onto a main road.  We settled on a sandwich shop and ordered.  I had a lovely big bowl of gazpacho and a ham sandwich followed by an apple tart. 

 

Next stop was a little convenience shop where I picked up a bottle of wine and potato chips while Linda bought pastries and Pepsi.  Salt for me and sweet for her.  Then, back to the flat and the mystery of a German washing machine with no instructions.  Then entire remainder of the evening was spent with Linda in and out to the laundry room to try to figure out the cycles.  Now, when I say laundry room what I am describing is little niche under the front porch steps leading up to the flats in the rest of the building.  One must bend down and crouch in front of the washer to try to decipher the hieroglyphics on the front of the machine.  Several hours later I fell into bed and Linda stayed up God knows how long waiting for the spin cycle to end.  Thank God the landlady called the next day and was able to give me the secret to operating the dryer.  One must actually empty the water that collects in a pan under the dryer as the clothes sort of dry.  No matter.  This is all an improvement over washing clothes by hand in the bathtub on a cruise ship!

AMSTERDAM

Holy cow. This is the dirtiest city I have ever been in in my entire life. It makes Detroit look like a poster for living green. Amsterdam’s canals are clogged with cans and bottles and one actually expects to see a body floating somewhere around the next turn.

We arrived two hours late due to heavy ship traffic in the locks. I was up early and managed to get some nice photos as we made our way into Amsterdam. One myth has been totally debunked. Swans are not territorial. As we sailed along, I spied dozens of groups of dozens of swans all swimming along in harmony. They are everywhere.

We walked down the gangway around 10:00 and made our way to the Central Rail Station a short walk away. Once inside we purchased tickets for a one hour barge ride through the central area. That was the easy part. Finding the boat depot was not so simple. We followed the crowd for several blocks until we recognized the sign that matched the logo on the tickets we had purchased. We waited in line for about a half hour before boarding a barge and finding a seat in the back. The good news is that our seats were a bit cooler than those on the inside of the boat, but we couldn’t hear the guide as he pointed out the sights. Not a problem however, because there isn’t a lot to see. The canals are jammed with houseboats tied up end to end and this obstructs your view of the buildings along the canal. The houseboats are old, messy, dirty and unkempt, but still interesting. As you pass the intersections in the canals you get a good view down each one that looks very much like the previous one. We did see the Anne Frank house as we made our way through the maze of canals. And, I really mean it is a maze. There are traffic jams and irate barge drivers honking as one barge might have to back up to let another through a narrow tunnel. Sometimes the drivers must throttle the barges back and forth to turn a boat that is too long to manage a bend in the canal. The houses are all at least three stories tall and very narrow. Many of them sit right at the canal edge. These houses have a block and tackle suspended over the front to use in hoisting groceries and furniture up and into the house. Rather ingenious. Some of the bridges that we passed under were lined with bottles and cans completely filling the girders. There are pigeons nesting within an arms length of the passengers.

There is a lot of construction going on and there are thousands of bicycles coming at you from every direction. As I paused to check a map, having one foot in the bike lane, a man cycled straight at me and yelled “BOO” just in time for me to make it out of his path. We were on a mission. Linda had done her research and knew that she would be able to purchase her “special” cigarettes in coffee houses throughout the city. She wasn’t exactly sure how we would recognize one of these special establishments or just how she would ask for what she wanted. So, the first street we walked down had coffee houses with names like ‘The Grasshopper’ and ‘Stones’ and ‘Elements of Nature’. I followed her into The Grasshopper. She did all the talking and I tried to be invisible. A young man showed her to the lighted menu case and she asked his advice for something that would just make her giggle. Eighteen euros for three joints. She made her purchase and we took a table outside so she could enjoy. Man, did she giggle.

Of course now we had eat. So our next mission was to find a café where we could sit outside. We choose one and sat down. We looked over the menu and each selected what we wanted for lunch. We waited. We continued to wait. We gave up waiting and left. We took a table at the next café and the waiter brought us menus. Very strange. It was exactly the same menu. Unfortunately, the cloth on our table was so dirty, we chose to leave this restaurant as well. Off to a third café. The waitress brought us the menu and it was the same damn menu as the last two rejected cafes except this one was laminated. We ordered and enjoyed the sandwiches we had chosen at the first café. While we were sitting at our table we were able to enjoy some of the indescribably odd people to be found in Amsterdam. We saw a young man in barefeet, neon green leg warmers, pink lace short shorts, a tank to and a lovely neon green scarf. The pink short shorts appeared to have been spray painted on, adding to his dramatic look.

We still had one mission. We had to find the red light district. No problem. It was only two blocks over. But first we spied a beautiful old cathedral and thought we had best be good tourists and take a look at it. We cut across the street and as we neared the church we discovered it wasn’t currently being used as a church. It is now a shopping mall. The lower level contains a wonderful store named Sissy Boys. I looked all through the store hoping to find a logo tee shirt, but there were none. Linda did purchase several bottles of Sissy Boy bath gel and such to take back for gifts.

Two blocks over we found the red light district and it is quite something. Shop windows display every sort of toy, lotion, enhancer, costume, and party favor you can imagine. We stopped into one shop and each bought VERY naughty tee shirts. I have no idea who I will give the one I purchased to or if I will ever wear it. It has a saying printed on it that refers to your mother giving a discount. Linda bought one that says good girls go to heaven and bad girls go to Amsterdam.

Back to the ship to face the job of packing. Again, it has been some sort of record high temperature today and we are wrung out.

IN THE NORTH SEA, I THINK

Today is the Fourth of July and we are spending it at sea. The crew has made every effort to celebrate it in an All American way. This is an example of how American the Holland America line is. On July 1, Canada Day, they served Canadian beer in the crows nest. However, I understand this is much more of a celebration than the city of Toronto enjoyed. But then, we are not in the middle of a garbage strike on board. So, to celebrate the American fourth, grills were set up in the mid-ship pool area and a huge buffet was served at lunch. Corn on the cob, steak, brats, hot dogs, grilled chicken breasts as well as fried chicken, a multitude of cold salads and more desserts than I have ever seen in one place. The apple pie was made in some sort of copper pot that was at least two feet across. All pretty yummy except the fried chicken was hot! Just try to imagine fried chicken that tastes like tobasco.

It has been very foggy all day and the outside temperature has dropped to the more seasonal mid sixties. We have reservations for an early dinner because it was the only time we could find a table for two so we wouldn’t have to chat up other passengers. We have already had our passports stamped for our disembarkation in Dover on Monday. Tomorrow we will be in Amsterdam all day and will have to be totally packed by 1:00 AM Monday morning.

The weather cleared during the evening hours and we were treated to a scene from a science fiction movie as we were getting ready for bed. We had the curtains partially opened and it was about 10:30. The sunset was fabulous. We stepped out onto the veranda and thought we were being invaded. It looked like space ships had landed in some sort of strung out formation, as far as you could see in all directions. They were oil platforms. Of course. After all, we were in the North Sea.

A FJORD IN YOUR FUTURE, OSLO

Now, this is really strange. We left Copenhagen around 4:30 yesterday and have been sailing to Oslo ever since. It is about 7:30 AM and we should be docking at 10:00. We went to sleep last night with the curtains to our veranda open and soon remembered that this is a mistake in Scandinavia. I remember awaking about 3:30 AM to see the sunset/sunrise. It’s all the same because it never gets dark.

I’m sitting on the veranda now and watching the Norwegian countryside as we head to Oslo. It is a strange view because it depends which side of the ship your cabin is on as to what you see. I see the countryside but have no idea whether we have open sea on the port side or if we are sailing through an inlet. I will report that the water is different here. The usual view of the water as the ship cuts through is just deep blue-black and bubbles caused by the ships passing. But this morning it is different. Looking straight down I see the ships hull and then a wake of about twenty feet that is all grayish green and bubbles. Then the bubbles end and it is all blue-black again. In fact, the green is getting greener and less grayed as we continue to sail. It’s very beautiful to see. If I had to offer an explanation I would guess that this color change is due to these being glacial waters similar to what we saw in Lake Louise, Canada. After all, Oslo is a fjord.

We loved Oslo. Our day began with tickets on a hop on/hop off bus of the city and surrounding countryside. In a bit over one hour you can drive through the city center and out into the countryside where the museums are all located. It is gorgeous. The ship docked right at the foot of the city center next to an ancient castle and fortress, Akershus. This is very interesting as I am now sitting on my bed in our cabin writing this account and the fortress is right outside our veranda. There are palace guards that check on the cannons every hour and they are close enough to speak to if I were inclined to do so. I’m not.

Our plan was to ride the bus on the entire circuit and then decide the points of interest where we wanted to get off and tour. However, when we came to Vigeland Park we both agreed that it was too spectacular to wait. This park is about sixty acres total and is filled with beautiful rose gardens. But the headline exhibits are the sculptures. Hundreds of human figures can be seen, children, families, adults, old people. Single statues and groups. Figures on bridges, in fountains, in bronze trees, in a monolith of dozens of figures. Fabulous! Linda and I did get a bit giddy and each of us posed with various statues.

We jumped back on the bus and rode out of the city to the area where seven museums are grouped. They are intimate and situated in a hilly rural area with vistas back into the city. All of Oslo requires much more of my time! I see this as a local where one should rent a house for a week or two and really enjoy the quiet beauty of Norway.

We stayed on the bus and rode back into the city. Our guide pointed out statues of Sonia Henni and a famous Norwegian speed skater. Much information was devoted to the future ski jump venue being built for games in the future as well as a brief history of record holding Norwegians of the past.

As we returned to the city center, we realized it was well past lunch and we set out to find a café. Good luck put us at the Nobel Center and a café that features a famous chef that I will Google when I return to the land of high speed Internet. LOL. But, if you are interested, the café is named Pascal and the chef is Pascal Dupuy. I ordered a bowl of fish stew that was divine. It was a cream soup with lemon. But, best of all, they are famous for their desserts. We went inside to the case and made our choices. I chose a licorice mousse that was wonderful. Then, we found the bathroom and peed in the Nobel Peace Center. My life is good.

With temperatures well over ninety in a country with an average summer high of sixty-four and no air-conditioning, we were wrung out by the end of our day. We still managed to climb through the fortress before returning to the ship. Once in our cabin, we both put our PJs on and took a bit of a siesta. Thanks to our late lunch we are skipping dinner and trying to get caught up on Email and friends.

The ship sailed out of Oslo shortly after 10:30 PM. Storms had threatened most of the evening and we were treated to a wonderful display of lightning over the hills as along the coast. We took photos of pleasure boats playing chicken with the ship as they rode our wake and screamed with the thrill of their boats becoming totally airborne as they crossed waves. Seemed like a pretty dangerous game. Those crazy Norsemen.

COPENHAGAN ALL OVER AGAIN

Oh, my aching feet. We left the ship believing what the daily ship’s travel page had said. Of course we could walk from the ship to the Little Mermaid and then into the city center to catch a barge tour of the old city.

Our morning started with Linda announcing that she was to be in charge of the map and was going to perform due diligence by writing out our route and listing the main street names that we would look for. She drew lines on the ship’s simplified map to mark the route she had laid out. It would seem that she had lost confidence in my navigational skills, most of which consisted of asking directions of any person I passed. Those who know me are probably cringing as they read this, silently screaming “Oh no. Jody is navigating?” So, Linda held the map and pointed to the direction of the Little Mermaid that was printed on the map. I will be gentle when I say that from the start, our senses of direction were not aligned. We did ask directions several times and did, eventually, find the mermaid. She is lovely and was well worth the many extra blocks we walked before finding her.

After buying bottles of water (bottles of ice would be a better description) we headed in the direction that Linda felt sure would take us to the canal area. For some inexplicable reason, we found ourselves instead at the railway station. At this point, Linda was ready to admit that we might need a taxi but I insisted that if I asked directions again, we were certainly close enough to continue walking. So, I asked the first person I came to where the Nyhavn (New Harbor) section was. Well, perhaps I could have chosen a better guide, but he was pleased to be asked. He was a Romanian from Oslo who claimed great familiarity with Copenhagen and we should just walk with him. Linda was rolling her eyes but I trusted the young man with half of his teeth and started walking. After several blocks we realized that his girlfriend was trailing behind our entourage and berating him in some language neither of us could understand but could tell that she was really pissed. So, we said thanks and claimed to know exactly where we were and sped up to leave the Romanian Norwegian dental dropout in our dust. So, after several more blocks of both of us stubbornly believing the other of us was an imbecile, we took a cab to Nyhavn, ordered a beer and lunch and caught our breath.

After lunch we hopped on a barge for a tour of the harbor and the old section of Copenhagen. Again, it is a beautiful city and we both took lots of photos. We wound our way through the canal and harbor system, passing past Christiania, a hippie commune complete with a gentleman nude sunbather at the end of a dock. The weather has been bordering on too hot, but who can complain about that? It was a perfect day to be on a boat tour. I just hope I can get my shoes back on before dinner.

KICKING BACK IN KIEL

Wednesday found us in the seaport of Kiel, Germany. Our choices were to take a train into Hamburg and see the city or to remain in Kiel and hunt for an Internet café where we could read all the latest Michael Jackson news. We opted for the café and ended up having a lovely, relaxing day.
We both slipped our laptops into our bags and disembarked the ship. Kiel was more than eighty percent destroyed during WWII. It was a major shipbuilding center and serviced submarines. These shipyards have been rebuilt and business appears to be thriving. One can see freighters being built, battle ships being serviced and submarines hanging in dry-dock. The center of the city is mostly without old buildings and most of today’s buildings date from the fifties. But, this is not without a charm of it’s own. We found a lovely pedestrian area with lots of small shops and many café’s. Many of the bars and outdoor areas have little hooded chaises chairs just right for two people to sit in privately. I had Linda take my picture while I sat in one.

Our first stop was at a sidewalk coffee shop with fabulous pastries. I got a coffee, Linda a coke and we split a huge strawberry Danish. We took our tray outside to a sidewalk table and proceeded to access the Internet and each type away happily for an hour or so. I got all my photos uploaded that had been sitting in my camera and sorted through my spam and checked to see if anyone was reading my Facebook postings. As noon approached, church bells rang out hundreds of times giving us a concert lasting several minutes. When we were both satisfied that we had gotten our Emails caught up and read every bit of info on Michael Jackson’s dermatologist, we packed up and went on a nice walkabout. I continued to look for the item I have decided to bring back for Amy, but had no luck. We ended our visit to Kiel with a class of wine in another sidewalk café.

We headed back to the ship in mid afternoon and spent the remainder of the afternoon watching old movies and relaxing. I did a load of unmentionables in the bathtub and strung them out on the backs of our veranda chairs. By 4:30 we set sail for Copenhagen. This was an interesting route because we actually backtracked our route out of Copenhagen at the start of our cruise. I recognized a huge suspension bridge that we had sailed under in the middle of the night of our first night.

We ended the evening with dinner in the Tamarind, a lovely Asian restaurant that sits on one of the uppermost decks. I had been dying for good sushi. In all fairness, I must say that it wasn’t as good as the sushi in Toronto. But, my Flirtini was fabulous. So was my second one.